I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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