My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
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