I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
