sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Randomize
