do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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