The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize