if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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