Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
