she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
it's great music for shaving your balls
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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