There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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