He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
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Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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