i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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