So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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