I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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