a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
