Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
