did you get engaged???
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
