He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
