The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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