i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Randomize
