Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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