Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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