Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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