shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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