sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
