Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
