meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
