After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
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Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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