just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize