I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
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Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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