party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
PANTIES FOUND
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