you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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