The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
