the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
