i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
