he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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