Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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