i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
