is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
