about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
