So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
