You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
The air taste purple.
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