I'm going to jail i love you
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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