Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
not ubering you a puppy
I am available for nakedness
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