My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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