Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Sorry about my life...
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
