Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
