Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
