careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
