There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I looked at my own cervix.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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