he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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