a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
