U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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