so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
