where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
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20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
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Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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