maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
