the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
